Bretman Rock & Nikita Dragun
Tom: Wait, can I shoot?
Marc: Double toot.
Tom: If not, toots for both.
Sian: 100% toot.
Tom: Gives me sort of Spy Kids vibes. I love. SHOOT.
Sian: Loving the pastel-colour matchy vibes. The shapes and cuts are super futuristic-looking and definitely well-fitted.
Tom: Love the use of accessories. Cute mini bags are very on-trend.
Sian: And their beat is flawless, as always.
Sian: HUGE BOOT.
Sian: She looks 12.
Tom: BOOT. She looks horrible, I hate it.
Marc: I THINK WE ALL HATE IT.
Sian: It looks so immature and dated.
Tom: Reminds me of the silhouettes Lady Gaga was pulling during the Joanne era. I didn’t like those and I don’t like this.
Sian: It’s so odd.
Tom: The hat, scarf, top, shorts and boots are strange to me. I feel like the proportions are all wrong.
Sian: I think each individual item would work in another context. She is so gorgeous; this does not do her justice (no pun intended).
Tom: Maybe if she took off an accessory it would be better.
Marc: She still looks pretty I guess, but overall, it’s really boring and basic.
Sian: It’s like she’s tried to put everything on, and in this case, less is probably more.
Marc: Boot. Sorry, it’s kind of boring and doesn’t fit great.
Sian: I want to like it; the neon and chunky trainers really do it for me, but that skirt is just a BOOT in its own right. It looks like it belongs over a bikini on the beach, whilst the top and trainers speak sport spice. A boot from me.
Tom: I love the colours. The neon vibe is so cute, and the hair colour is gorgeous – but together, I’m not sure it works. The shoes are great though too. I think this is another example of great individual pieces not working together. Sorry, it’s a boot.
Sian: I think the highlight of this look is probably the sunglasses, I’m such a sunglasses fiend.
Tom: The body chain is also kind of random, we can’t even see it.
Sian: Yeah, the chain doesn’t tie in at all. It’s liked she’s mixed beach with sport, then thought about festival fashion as an afterthought.
Sian: The shoes just make her feet look SO WEIRD and SO BIG.
Marc: Boot. Those boots look like frogs.
Tom: I’ve never seen The Grinch before, but I’m sure Kendall must have stolen his feet.
Sian: I love the colour of the boots, and the sleeves are EVERYTHING. The dress is a bit meh. It’s too plain and doesn’t speak festival at all. I think it’s a boot.
Tom: It’s a shame because the top half is really cute. It’s not even the blue/green clash – it’s just THOSE SHOES.
Marc: It’s random and doesn’t go together. Boot.
Tom: She’s a Kardashian. I kind of expect more. They have access to the most gorgeous, vintage designer pieces – surely, she could have done more? Boot.
Sian: BOOT. THAT IS ALL.
Marc: Boot. It’s the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen. I hate the trainers too. Looks like he bought the whole thing for £4.
Tom: Boot! It needs a necklace, but that’s not even half the problem.
Sian: This co-ord does not flatter him at all. There needs to be some fitted element here.
Tom: I thought we stopped showing our boxers in shorts in 2010?
Sian: He looks a bit like a boxer, but Poundland version.
Tom: The best part is the tattoos.
Sian: I agree.
Sian: This looks like when I have a mental breakdown and grab whatever is in my cupboards and put it on. She’s SO gorgeous, it hurts that she wears ill-fitted clothes all the time.
Tom: I needed a minute to digest this. The top part I adore, but the pants look like a Primark throw wrapped around the waist.
Sian: I love that she pushes boundaries with what is socially accepted in fashion though, I just think it could be refined.
Tom: The gilet and neon green is super cool; I love the glasses. I just don’t get the pants.
Marc: I really like the waistcoat but it needs less chains, or get rid of something else like the visor.
Sian: I STAN the visor sunnies, and the chunky layered necklaces and rings are such a vibe.
Tom: I want so bad to toot but the pants make it a boot for me.
Sian: It pains me, but overall this is a boot.
Tom: One word: TOOT.
Marc: A collective toot.
Sian: Total toot. Little Mix but make it K-pop. Toots across the board.
Tom: It manages to be cohesive but still shows individual style. I love this.
Sian: The embellishment in their pieces is second to none. It’s very Ariana Grande.
Marc: Boot. That’s my only comment.
Sian: Complete toot. We love a booty, or should I say tooty, pic. It’s so Coachella.
Tom: It’s giving me video game warrior vibes. It’s a toot for sure.
Sian: It’s like sexy bondage Lara Croft in the Wild West. And his paint is flawless, glow to the GAWDS SIS!
Tom: I enjoy that he took a different perspective, and I can bet this will inspire lots of others.
Sian: I think I love this more than my own ability to breathe. SHOOT.
Marc: Toot, I like it. But something does feel a little off. I think it’s the bottom half.
Sian: So beautiful, and flowy, and dark, and witchy. I love how all the pieces are separate but visually work as a dress, and the natural makeup leaves the dress to make the statement it holds.
Tom: She gives me Bellatrix from Harry Potter going to Coachella. Toot. I’m here for these McQueen, gothic vibes. The puff sleeve not attached is so cool too, I’ve never seen that before.
Marc: I really like the top half though – toot.
Marc: Toot. I like this a lot.
Sian: This reeks of summer, I like it.
Tom: I imagine the colour palette looked gorgeous in the sun.
Sian: The hat and glasses combo is a LEWK.
Marc: I like the shoe and how it all fades into each other, but I would have liked some chains. I would defo wear this, so toot.
Sian: Definite toot, I just think the shoe is URGLY. The colours compliment his skin tone incredibly well.
Sian: These hair accessories are giving me LIFE.
Marc: The hair is great but the dress is just okay. It’s not really festival at all.
Tom: I like that we expect OTT Glamourfest from Kylie, but she’s given us this stripped back number. She looks really chic. I’m shocked I haven’t seen her like this before.
Marc: A light toot.
Sian: The dress texture is luscious, and paired with Yeezys I think it looks effortless.
Tom: A strong toot from me. And an honorary toot to Travis too.
Sian: This is terribly composed. Not for me. Boot.
Tom: I love the chain over the white, and the fishnet sleeve underneath. But together I’m not convinced.
Marc: It feels messy to me. But I like elements of it and its not that bad. Toot.
Sian: It looks cheap. I think it needs to be stripped back.
Tom: I’m digging the blue white combo.
Sian: I also the gloves. Lots of boxers coming out of Poundland this season.
Tom: I’m going to toot as I like the overall image for the stage.
Tom: Toot. Hello Bratz doll.
Sian: I live. It’s so noughties Paris Hilton. TOOT.
Marc: Very trendy, I like the hair a lot. Toot.
Tom: I love the exaggerated silhouette with the huge shoe.
Sian: Pink velour just speaks Juicy Couture, and this modernised version is a mood.
Tom: I would love a mini yellow backpack with this, but defo a toot.
Sian: It’s so hard to wear pigtails and make it look like you’re more than the age of 6. She does this completely.
Marc: Boot. She looks like a neon green igloo.
Sian: This is mental but TOOT. Monochrome yellow/green neon is only something I can dream of pulling off.
Tom: The proportions make her legs look tiny, but I guess she wasn’t really going for glam.
Sian: The shape is a little ‘Soju you’re going home on week one, honey’, but as a concept I’m here for it.
Marc: The outfit is serving me plastic neon clown.
Tom: The monochrome is a serve but the material reminds me of an inflatable bouncy castle.
Tom: I think it’s a boot for me. But I like some of it.
Sian: I would definitely wear those trainers if I had something to match them with.
Olivia Buckland and Alex Bowen
Sian: I WANT THIS SKIRT AND I WANT IT NOW. TOOOOOT.
Tom: Wow. I love Olivia’s look. Toot.
Sian: Alex looks hot too. We love a cute fanny pack over the shoulder moment.
Marc: Alex looks basic for Coachella; he looks more dressed for Creamfields.
Tom: She’s giving me Madonna.
Marc: Still a toot though because I like his top.
Tom: What a great fashionable couple. Defo a toot. I love his use of accessories.
Sian: I think he’s kept it simple yet effective. At a festival, sometimes you just don’t want something outrageous.
Marc: I would have worn black, ripped denim shorts instead.
Tom: I agree, I would prefer him in a denim short.
Sian: Olivia’s combo of the chunky trainers and fluffy skirt make me horny.
Tom: It’s defo a very you vibe, Sian.
Ariana Grande and Nicki Minaj
Marc: Toot Nicki. Boot Ariana.
Sian: I wish I could love this for Ari but this was my least favourite look of hers from the weekend.
Marc: Ariana looks like she has dresses like Effie from The Hunger Games. Nicki’s is much more street and well fitted.
Sian: I think the only thing that has potential in these outfits is Nicki’s shoes. I don’t know who let Ari wear that but she needs to sue with immediate effect. Both boots.
Tom: I love Ariana’s look; it reminds me of a Mugler re-work. I really like the exaggerated shoulder.
Sian: The boots are so oversized and the sleeves are just unnecessary. But I do enjoy the one leg shorter than the other on Nicki’s jumpsuit – gives it some edge.
Tom: Nicki’s is a safe toot.
Sian: Lizzo could wear a f$@king bin bag and I would still toot. TOOT.
Marc: I like the material but the actual shape is kind of boring.
Tom: TOOT! I love the idea of wearing a silver foil in the desert; very area 51 searching for aliens vibe. Love it.
Marc: Safe toot, only because I like the material so much.
Sian: Super royal, extra-terrestrial fantasy.
Tom: The hair is giving Ariana a run for her money.
Sian: The extended sleeves are to die for, makes it more than just a leotard.
Tom: She’s a super high energy performer so I’m sure the sleeves were a great addition for that.
Lauren Mayberry (Chvrches)
Sian: My toot of the season. So editorial. The dress, the makeup, UGH. SHOOOOOOT.
Marc: Big toot. I really like this.
Tom: It reminds me of Yvie Oddly’s jellyfish look from Drag Race.
Marc: I’m not sure if I like the fishnets or not. But still a big toot.
Tom: I would prefer without the fishnets too.
Sian: She is so dainty, so giving her a larger-than-life dress is something that works perfectly in contrast. The huge pink glitter liner ISSA VIBE.
Tom: Totally agree, I love the huge dramatic dress on her small frame.
Sian: Makes me want to recreate the look. You could really see it as a spread in a high fashion magazine. The pink nail is a cute little accentuation too. So vogue.
OUR TOP TOOTS:
Tom: Mine was actually Kylie. I’m shook. I loved the simplicity.
Marc: Nikita Dragun and Bretman Rock were my top toots for sure.
Sian: Lauren from Chvrches blew me away. So up my street.
Unnecessary accessories. We love a tacky, pointless addition.