Why we should abandon Christmas as we know it.

Ho ho, oh no?

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Oh, here we go again. It’s coming to the peak of the Christmas Doppler effect, where we associate a time of superficial gift-giving with superstitious verse and an appreciation of Christ. It’s about time we scrutinised our annual mechanical actions and dragged Christmas into the modern era, by accepting what Christmas has become and realising why it is not the Christmas we want.

Gift-giving entitlement

Never have I ever seen a population so repugnantly deluded into thinking Christmas is something “special” or “magical”, when it evidently revolves around gift-giving. What’s so magical about the self-delusion that you’re entitled to some costly present or pounds-spent by your parents? What’s so special about thinking that you’re worth something more now that you’re older and your desires are more expensive?

There’s nothing special about it and it develops an entitlement that reoccurs every year. I can already imagine the sheer nagging of supposed young adults crying to their parents on Christmas Day, ‘36? But last year, last year I had 37!’ (to quote Dudley from Harry Potter on his birthday, another gift-giving bonanza); sons and daughters have already over-stated their worth by expecting gifts, yet now they’ve developed an entitlement to complain when receiving an iphone 8 over an iPhone X. Yet, Christmas is magical.

For less financially well-off households, Christmas is a chance to divest money and happiness from January by burying themselves with debt, so they can cloak themselves from the sheer embarrassment (reality) that they’re poor and cannot afford to fill the Christmas tree with presents.

It’s not uncomfortable to hear that its estimated families spend over £800 during Christmas, however, it highlights the unreasonable amount of social pressure on working class families to acquire these status goods. There’s nothing magical about spending money you cannot afford or saving for the following Christmas a month after you’ve finished celebrating. It simply advocates over-spending on frivolous items, and for the sake of what? Another “magical” Christmas?

Father Christmas

The crux of the problem isn’t the lie we tell vulnerable children: that a fat white-bearded demigod can upon demand, increase and decrease the size of his mostly protoplasmic body to appropriately squeeze through skinny chimneys. Where he will proceed to consume your milk and mince pies and supply your household with toys (assuming his pedophilloic, ubiquitous gaze has aligned your actions as a child with some normative universal good, of course). The real issue is the systematic consumerism we indoctrinate them with (although, I’m also not a fan of those wizard-beasts that pull his sleigh by jogging on air.)

If we look at it through the perspective of a child, you’re born and bred into the systematic expectation of being spoiled with presents annually. From the perspective of an adult, you’re guilt-ridden into this mass expense, further encouraging the systematic spoilage of a day of gift-giving. This entails, from the giver and receiver, growing from a child to an adult, a circle of apparent necessity for commercial products which is systematically passed on.

Commercialisation

It’s so commercial: we acknowledge and equally ignore it at the same time. We connote it as “the best time of year” like it’s something to be proud of. It’s a priority for some people, insomuch that they will purchase gifts for the next Christmas on the following Boxing Day, 364 days in advance.

It’s by far the most over-commercialised period of the year and there are several indicators that illuminate how we are deeply entrenched in consumerism. For instance, if you’re a Christmas fanatic then you’ve probably said the words, “I can’t wait for the John Lewis advert”; or you’ve associated the Christmas period with the instigation of the televised Coca Cola commercial or the sudden bloom of red tinsel in Shopping centres. I can tolerate the commercialisation although I don’t agree with it. What I cannot tolerate is the fantastical amnesia that causes excitement among grown adults by the mere sight of Christmas drinks at Costa or Starbucks, just to be annually disappointed by the sickly taste of an Eggnog Latté. Why do we do this to ourselves?

White Christmas

Then there’s the other annoying common phrase, “I’m praying for a White Christmas”, I’m sure you are, you hypocrite. It’s always said. Every year someone you know says it. Until it actually does snow and the gift you ordered online arrives late after Christmas, because, like anytime it snows, we’re totally unprepared and the Royal Mail crumbles under the unsafe driving conditions of a bit of sleet.

False Christendom

Another reason to show distaste towards Christmas is the false connotation that it is Christian at all. It’s that annoying time when some Christian-born Christians remember they’re Christian and reach up into their attic to retrieve their dusted cardboard box, so they can hang their Jesus piece and Star of David. A time when some Christians remember they’re Christian and visit Church again for the second time of the year, from whence the first visit was Easter – another commercial period. But more importantly, you could conjecture that Christmas shouldn’t be called Christmas, because Jesus wasn’t born on Christmas Day (25th December) either historically or biblically.

It was given this date by Pope Julius I (during the 4thcentury) as to Christianise the already existing Pagan (not Christian) tradition of worshipping the “strengthening” of the Sun (i.e. the days becoming longer). The Norseman, saw the Sun as a wheel that rotated the seasons, hence the term “yule” for Christmas, derives from the term “wheel” or “houl”. Furthermore, the Christmas tradition also derived many of its roots from Druid, Roman and Ancient Greek festivities and customs which in some cases predate Christianity. Even if Christmas had the originality of Christianity (which I have demonstrated it does not), the nativity has been squashed by scholarly exegesis for being historically inaccurate. The whole notion of Christmas is mainly non-Christian.

To Conclude

Although I look with discontent upon the consumerism, the over-stimulation of Christmas decorations, the over-played annual Christmas tunes, the entitled children, the guilty lying parents, the false hope for snow or the fact that Christmas has nothing to do with Christ, it’s still a pretty rad time of year. I’m not arguing to suppress Christmas, unlike during the Puritan Movement of the 17th and 18th Century. I’d just prefer Christmas if spending quality time, on a public holiday, with people you love and care about was exacerbated more as a society, than the commercial twaddle that comes with it. Thus, the Christmas I propound, I venerate. To the present Christmas, bah humbug.