Answers from Alex Square

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Photograph: Sammie Caine

The following students were chosen, from Alexandra Square at random, and asked the questions below: Chloe West, Danielle Walters, Emily Watt, Fatima Cheema, Ffion Robinson, Guillermo Alonso, Harry Bailey, Islay Grant, Lizzy J, Maria Chave, Martin Ghrabie, Matt Bentley, Matty Robinson, Megan Davidson, Millie- may Hindle, Thomas Mcgratg, Tolu Adeshina, Travis Martin and Xiao Collins.

Q1: Would you rather have vaginas for ears or have penises for fingers?

Lizzy J: Uh, penises for fingers, because it would be quite fun wouldn’t it. You could tickle people with them. Like, ah, imagine the slap you could get with a penis for a finger.

Matt: Vaginas for ears. Penis for fingers would be really clumsy and useless and I can still use my hands. Probably wouldn’t hear anything though- that would suck.

Matty: Vaginas for ears. I don’t have a vagina, so I think it would be diverse.

Travis: Penises for fingers. You could probably do more with penises for fingers.

 

Q2: Why do you think Lancaster University lost at this year’s Roses?

Harry: Because we’re the Away team, and the Away team always loses.

 

Q3: How do you feel about the construction work on the Spine? Any suggestions?

Fatima: I think everyone should stop giving suggestions, otherwise they’ll keep redesigning it. I think it just needs to be made, and I’m sure it will be fine however it is.

Ffion: Pain in my ass. And they should have just done a section completely, and then done the next, so that the entire Spine wasn’t disturbed.

Guillermo Alonso: They could go a little bit faster, it’s a bit annoying for us. I understand that it takes time but, I don’t know, for people, who live in Lonsdale or Pendle or whatever, who have to go to County we have to go around the university. That’s a bit of a drag for us.

Lizzy J: It’s annoying innit? I don’t really know, it’s in the way. I think the Physics Garden will look nice when they’ve finished, but it’s annoying that it’s taking ages.

 Travis: It’s pretty annoying for the Freshers because they don’t get to see how good the campus can look. But I suppose it’s gonna look nice, so I’m not really that bothered about it at the moment.

 

Q4: Emmanuel Macron blames the media’s obsession with his wife’s age on misogyny and homophobia. Why do you think the media is so obsessed with the age difference?

Matty: I like that he used homophobia, because a lot of people think it’s stupid, but… history lesson: gay people in the past used to marry older women and that’s why he said it’s homophobic because a lot of people are connecting it with him hiding himself being gay.

Emily: Age differences are always spoken about really badly, but I think as long as everyone’s consenting and everyone is like over 18, it doesn’t really matter that much and it’s their choice so.

Ffion: Because they like focusing on things that aren’t important rather than things that are important. You know, the media is a mess. And because it’s something unusual.

Harry: I think generally there’s a stigma about age difference, about people being attracted to older people for their money. But in this case it’s not actually that, it’s the other way around. I think she was his teacher at school, um, so that’s maybe a bit creepy, but I don’t know.

Maria: I think that it’s something that people will inevitably comment on, but I mean look at Trump and Melania, she’s much younger than him. So I think that the media should give him a break.

 

Q5: Will you be watching this year’s Eurovision song contest?

Chloe: No, I’ve never really been that into it. A lot of my friends from home watch it a lot because in their families it’s like tradition to watch it, and then throw like a party or something.

Xiao: No, it’s just really rubbish music everywhere.

 

Q6: How often do you read SCAN?  

Fatima: I’ve never read it. I’ve heard about it but I’ve never read it. But I will after this.

Islay: If there’s a good article that comes up on Facebook then I’ll click on it, but I don’t go onto the SCAN website.

Travis: Never. There’s no reason why I don’t, but there just never comes an opportunity. I know it’s around campus everywhere. But yeah I’ll stick to Guardian. Which is the most tragic thing to say.

Xiao: I think I read it once a year, round about Roses time. I think I like the Sports part of it the most.

 

Q7: What was the last lie you told?

Chloe: probably that I did more revision, to my parents, than I actually have.

Emily: I said I’d be ready at 12 and we didn’t leave till 1.

Fatima: I don’t actually know. I don’t lie. That was a lie.

Martin: God, I told so many I can’t remember. Probably to my mom, about my whereabouts. I was supposedly in the library but I was out getting pissed.

Matty: I don’t know, but I guess that’s probably a lie as well.

Travis: That he’s good-looking (points at Caleb Darko)

Thomas: That everything is under control.

 

Q8: What’s your opinion on the upcoming general elections?

Fatima: Labour for the win. But honestly I don’t think it’s going to happen I think Conservatives will win again.

Harry: Excitement and nervousness. I don’t really want either team to win- the Conservatives or Labour party. They make a lot of good points, but I don’t know, I just want to go back 5 years and start again.

Islay: I’m rubbish with politics but I think it’s good that we’re having another election so people can have their say.

Matty: We’ve had too many elections. I think it’s Conservative playing to their advantage which is good for them politically, but bad for the country I think.

Tolu: It’s a madness. I don’t know mehn. I mean I’m always Labour, Labour till I die, but this whole Jeremy Corbyn thing and everything, so I don’t know. I’ll vote Labour so we’ll see.

Travis: I’m pretty nervous cause I don’t… no actually I do know how it’s going to go. It’s going to go Conservative. It’s going to be just same story as last year really- just Conservatives get majority- that’s what I think.