Congratulations Freshers, you made it – it’s time for University. Sure, it’s not Hogwarts but your University years will still be the best years of your life (and this time that’s not a lie, we promise).
The forest isn’t especially dark or forbidden, Lake Carter is sadly lacking a giant squid, but that doesn’t mean we don’t have magic. For one thing, I swear the staircases must move, because how else as a third year, am I still getting lost?!
Another thing, and most importantly – we have our colleges, and any self-respecting Potter fan will want to know how they sort into the Hogwarts houses.
Bowland and Lonsdale- Gryffindor and Slytherin
Image: Harry Potter Wikia
Starting off with Bowland and Lonsdale, the two founding houses – these are absolutely the Gryffindor and Slytherin of Lancaster University. These two are at each other’s throats for most of the year and when the Founders tournament rolls around, duck for cover. Founders is primarily a sports tournament but don’t be fooled, this is not some primary school sports day when the prizes are plastic medals and a lollipop – this is serious business. Friendships have been ruined, families torn apart – well maybe not quite that far, but I promise that if these colleges have to interact during Founders, things might get a bit um…tense.
Furness is the smallest college at Lancaster, and it’s such a popular college that you get the feeling that you know everyone in Furness, even if you aren’t a member. Their bar, Trevor, is cosy and welcoming, and a favourite for society meetings and pre-drinks alike. And it’s definitely not lacking in arrogance. In their own words “Everywhere else is nowhere.” …So Gryffindor it hurts.
Cartmel is an elusive college, so it’s pretty Hufflepuff in its way, as I’m told it really does exist, but members don’t turn up much. Nobody makes a song and dance – or a book series – about Cartmel, much like poor, overlooked Hufflepuff. Fair warning: Cartmel members are fiercely protective of their house – I mean, college, and can get quite snappy when their college is lumped with a crappy reputation like Hufflepuff is. Chin up Cartmel, you’ll get your chance. Maybe. One day.
Pendle, oh Pendle. You’re my college’s main rival so I could pop you into Slytherin, dismiss you as evil and have done with it, but that wouldn’t be fair. You’ve got lots of good qualities, I’m sure. (I just don’t happen to know any.)
That being said, you made the best of what you were given when you got sorted into Pendle, and you try hard to work your way from Pendle ‘Ghetto’ to Pendle ‘Posh’ accommodation. Congratulations, I’ll make you Slytherin for determination and ambition. Try and ditch the bad reputation I know you by.
Grizedale: my own college, with the reputation for partying and hog roasts. I’m happy to put Grizedale into Hufflepuff, which may not seem right if we’re supposedly such party animals, but it’s the hog roast part that’s clinched the connection with Hufflepuff house. The food is plentiful, the company is easy-going and we’re willing to share our space and our food with any other college. Except Pendle. You can go away.
Grad College is so incredibly Ravenclaw that nobody can possibly argue with this choice. It’s obvious when you think about it: only true academics make the decision to continue University after a first degree and do more. It takes creativity and a dedication to learning to work a degree around the life of a graduate responsibilities – like the fun prospect of getting funding. Good for you Grad, you have the respect of the undergraduate community at Lancaster, even if you often look down your noses at us young’uns. (Ravenclaw snootiness anyone?)
Want a bunch of reckless, outgoing people damn near obsessed with sport? Look no further than Fylde College! Naturally, you are also sorted into Gryffindor – I mean, you have a sports bar with regular screenings of matches and games. People from Fylde and nearly every other college are brought together to eat nachos and cheer at random intervals. Go! Go! Gryffindor!
Lastly, we get to County, which is true if you go North on the Spine….*Ahem* sorry. As it happens, bad jokes are definitely not something that County are known for, as their bar, The Northern Oak, regularly plays host to the Comedy Club, along with bands and singers playing gigs that anyone can come down and enjoy – though sadly the budget doesn’t stretch to the Weird Sisters.So much creativity! This, added to the fact that I’ve literally never met a County student who wasn’t studying English Lit, make you Ravenclaws.
Do you agree with the SCAN Sorting Hat? Tell us which house you think your college should be in the comments!