The New Black
• Celebrity Stoners: From Miley to 1D, that sweet Mary J is become the must have accessory for the biggest pop stars in the world right now. Pass us the (James) Blunt.
• Ireland: Apparently it’s an alright place for a honeymoon. If you’re a million billionaire. #kanyeandkim Or like Guinness. #stereotype
• Gogglebox: The series has finished and we are seriously missing Leon and June, Sandy and Sandra, and (most of all as they are our spirit animal) the pissed posh couple. Come back! Not you Silent Jay…
• Two Piece Outfits: In 2013 we’d of shot Joey Essex down for matching his top with his shorts. This year we are all over it. Hurray fashion faux pas.
• Anyone one who already has their Grad Ball outfit: We hate you. We will be serving you fashionably late realness.
• Britain’s Lack of Talent: No amount of camp from Walliams or Mr Nasty from Simon was gonna save this years severe talent drout. Bye Alesha!
• Rita Ora: We’re not a fan. Sorry to let you down.
• Our Last SCAN Article: We’re moving on and the Fashion-O-Meter is no more. Unless they get a younger model to replace me, like Rachel Riley did to Vorderman. Either way, our time is up!