A Terrible Chef’s Guide to University Cooking

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By Chris Gandhi

University is a definitive turning point in a person’s life. For many of us it’s the first time we’ve been left to our own devices, forced to fend for ourselves 24 hours a day, and one element of that fending is cooking. Below I hope to detail some of the many things I have learnt and pass on my wisdom to hopefully enrich everyone’s lives. 

The first thing you will find in university halls is the definitive lack of a dishwasher. Problem? Definitely! But there is a quick fix to this, put kitchen foil over the baking tray to catch all the grease and crumbs. Why not hit the pound shop and stock up on plastic plates and cups? One use only, but at 20 cups for a quid, who’s complaining? Tacky yes, but if you’re in the middle of revision, washing up is one of the last things you want to be doing the night before a big exam. And your flatmates will never complain about you leaving unwashed things around!

 Now for cooking, and what better labour saving device than the microwave? I love it! I even have a book devoted to microwave cooking, without it I would probably be living off pot noodles and chocolate. The microwave opens up endless possibilities for food, though I prefer the simpler the better. One bag of nachos, a jar of salsa and any kind of cheese; whack it in there for a minute and you have yourself a delicious starter for many. Or just a movie feast for one greedy individual!

 The George Foreman, if you have not encountered this wonderful man and his wonderful product as a student, well, I would be shocked. Grilled sausages and toasties, made with the minimum of washing up, just a quick wipe and you are done. The only way I can suggest cooking sausages quicker is asking Superman to zap them with his heat vision.

 And how about those little things that can help save time; Cereal doesn’t need to be eaten with milk. (Or even eaten in a bowl) Can’t be bothered to walk to the kitchen for a cold drink? Why not a mini-fridge. Not in the mood to even hold that drink, Why not a beer hat? 100% hands free!

To conclude, these are my own personal observations, but then I am a terrible cook, pay as little attention as possibly to me if you so wish (which I whole heartedly suggest) but remember this, life should be taken with a pinch of salt, and a dollop of Ketchup!